Friday, February 4, 2011

Slimed...oh my!

Well, I had the MOST horrific experience yesterday. So traumatizing I am just now able to write about it. I will preface this by saying I have had a few sliming episodes. They happened, I dealt with it and moved on. Nothing spectacular. I must correct this. I did have one spectacular episode and that was when my esophogus was so stressed that it started having spasms and I continued to throw up every 15 minutes for hours and hours. That freaked me out. So other than that I handled them just fine. Yesterday was another story all together.
WARNING...TMI....long story...

OK, so yesterday was a day like any other. I got up, got ready for work, got my daughter ready for school. The difference was I took her to school instead of having her ride the bus. I chose to skip breakfast because I was going to order an early lunch.

After getting to work, I am in the break room getting some hot chocolate with my boss. She's getting a honey bun. Yum mm...honey bun. Dang, I haven't had one of those in years I thought to myself. So I decided I would get one and heat it up in the microwave. OMG...it smelled good and I was starving having skipped breakfast that morning. So I go back to my desk with hot chocolate in one hand and hot and melty honey bun in the other. I paced myself and ate half of the honey bun and I was done, full and satisfied. Or so I thought. About 5 minutes later I felt the tightening in my throat. I felt the increase in saliva. It was getting worse. The pain was really bad. I tried the hot chocolate since hot liquids tend to help things go down. In retrospect that was not a good idea seeing how I now suspect that caused the honey bun to swell. I felt it coming back up. Kind of prairie dogging it in my throat. Then I felt my tongue getting tingly and that is a sure sign of what was to come, or come up. I made my way to the bathroom and to my horror it was full and there was a line. There was no way I could make it to the far end of the building to the other bathroom. Finally a stall opened up and it was at the end, thank you GOD. We have motion-sensored toilets so as soon as I shut the door it started to flush, I took the opportunity and the honey bun came right up, along with the hot chocolate. So sorry to see you go my friend. Of course, I felt much much better. So I waited a few seconds and left to wash my hands. I went back to my desk.
I thought I was in the clear. I just needed to relax a little. Well, about 10 minutes later I felt the tightening again only this time not so bad or painful. I just figured a little walking around and gravity would help things along. So I walked around and then I had to go to the bathroom to pee. I went in and again it was full. Really?? I waited but this time I got a middle stall. Dang my bad luck!
What happened next will be burned into my very soul. I sat down to use the restroom and without warning, no signs at all, a HUGE HUGE glob of slime just came up. It was probably the equivalent of about 2 cups. No kidding. It was slipping through my hands and fingers right down into my underwear and jeans and eventually running onto the floor. A large puddle. I was grabbing for toilet paper trying to pull it out of my drawers. It was not working, it was too slimey and thick. I eventually got it out but not before my underwear and jeans were soaked down the back and a streak down my leg. I also had a slick of slime down my shirt.

What was I going to do? I was mortified. The bathroom was packed. I was sitting there with wet jeans and underwear and a wet shirt. I kept inspecting my jeans and it appeared the wetness was limited to my butt. i knew my shirt was long enough to cover my butt. There was still the matter of a streak of wetness down the leg. I couldn't hide that. And the wetness of my shirt I could say I spilled something. The problem is I couldn't go home. One because it wasn't my lunch hour and I was having lunch delivered and I just can't leave work.  People would know if I went home and changed provided I got out of there without anyone seeing my pants. I realized the slime doesn't smell at all, that was good. Now I know this is gross but I had no choice. When the bathroom was finally clear I got out pulled my shirt down in the back and inspected it in the mirror. Okay so unless someone was checking by rear out I should be okay except for this area around the back crotch area looked like I peed. Then there was the leg, oh and my shirt. I grabbed some paper towels and about that time someone came in. I pretended to dab at my shirt like I was cleaning it. Then I did clean it. Went back to my desk and sat down. My boss asked me what happened to my shirt. I said I spilled something on it. True dat.
I then turned on my fan to dry my shirt and then pointed it down and periodically sat so it blew on my backside. To make sure no smell I used some strong smelling hand sanitizer and when no one was looking would rub it on the wet areas. I sat there for 3 hours before my jeans no longer looked wet. I was self conscious all day but there was nothing I could do. I wasn't leaving able to leave.

To put this in perspective, this happened around 10:30 am. I don't get off work until 8 pm. So you see I had a long day to sit and think about it while sitting in it. OMG...no more honey buns for me!!

4 comments:

FitBy40 said...

PLEASE be careful for the next couple of days. A similar thing happened to me last Monday night (9 days ago) and I just tonight had my first normal meal. The bad sliming and puking irritated my band so badly that I've been unable to eat normal food for 8days. I've been surviving on pudding, protein shakes, oatmeal and cream of wheat! I seriously considered going in for an un-fill but thought I'd give it a while to see if it would fix itself. Thank God it did. You might want to stick to liquids/mushies for a couple days to be safe.
So glad that's over, right?!

Angie said...

Thanks. I have had no problems after that episode. I usually never do. I think one time I was sore for a day or two but really not bad. That time my esphogas had spasms but hot liquids calmed it down. When the slime came up this time it was sudden and there was no indication it was coming. Once it came up I was fine. It was the humiliation I couldn't get over. LOL

Alison said...

Sounds horrific, you poor thing. Glad that there seem to be no after effects. Is it worth keeping spare clothes in your car just in case?

Angie said...

I have thought about that as well. I may start doing that and have a "story" for the reason why I changed my clothes. The last thing I want is people at work knowing what happened. They know I had lapband and I am okay with that. They notice I am losing weight and ask how so I won't lie about that but I just can't see myself telling them I changed clothes because I slimed myself. Nope, can't see that.