Saturday, January 29, 2011

Things are picking up

You know I go through this slump where I am not losing, but gain a little. Then I lose a bit and gain a bit. Clothes don't fit then they do. I am like, what's up with that??

I am on a downward spiral. It's a good thing though. Overall, I am still losing weight. That's the good part.

I was reading someone's blog, I can't remember who, and they mentioned their height, that they had grown. A light bulb went off because I had always been 5' 8" but a few years ago I was measured at 5' 6". I was like what the heck?? So I measured myself again. I am now 5' 7". I guess with the weight on it was literally "weighing me down".

I went clothes shopping yesterday. I actually enjoy it because I can go to regular stores and buy off the rack now. I had bought some pants a size smaller and they fit but after an hour or so they stretched out and were too big. So my boss said I should buy them another size smaller if there is stretch in them and then by the time they stretch out they will fit perfect. So I dd. I got "Flirt" skinny jeans in a size smaller than before. They are snug in the legs but fit in the waist. I am SOOOOOO excited. The pants usually are HUGE in the legs and hips. I can't wait to wear them out. I am saving so much money on clothes since I don't have to go to specialty stores for my clothes and I actually enjoy going shopping.

Here's a tip I highly recommend. I have always had big hips and legs. Thunder thighs is what I was called. I started wearing AVIA Toner Shoes. I LOVE THEM!!! I think they are the reason I have lost inches and inches from my legs, hips and calves. I know this because when the weather has been snowy I wore my snow boots for about 2 weeks and I noticed my legs and hips were flabbier and bigger. Before they were tight when I was wearing the shoes. Whether it's AVIA or some other, it sure couldn't hurt.

Now, about my new hair do. YIKES!! I am beginning to think I looked like a toad because people are coming out of the woodwork literally to compliment me on my hair cut, hair color and even my eyes. I have had them ask if I was wearing new make up or they said I was lining my eyes now because they just pop out. Nope I tell them same make up, always lined my eyes. I did have my eyebrows waxed.  They love the color and the cut. Lots of people I don't even talk to are coming up to me at work. Yes it had been 4 months since my last hair cut/color/eyebrow wax. I am thinking I shouldn't wait so long anymore. What gets me is some come to me more than once to tell me they love my hair and eyes. It's a really good feeling but at the same time, dang I must have let myself go really bad for it to be this much of a difference.

Here's to the "new" me...

Friday, January 28, 2011

Stylish Blogger Award

Well Thank You "Fitby40" for nominating me. I am so proud and happy to pay it forward.

Here is how it works:
Thank the person who gave you the award, reveal seven things about yourself, and nominate 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered or love. Then leave a comment on their blog letting them know they've been nominated.

1. I am considered the computer guru. I am all things computer. If it is on the Internet I will find it. I love technology and love new gadgets.

2. I have the patience of a saint. No really. It takes a whole whole lot to push me over the edge. I rarely raise my voice at people because I just don't think it gets me anywhere.

3. I am the best friend you will ever have. I am not judgemental and I don't hold grudges but I do expect the same in return. Don't make me choose you over someone else because I won't do it and for that reason I have lost many friends over the years.

4. I am a good listener. There is a difference between hearing someone and listening to what they have to say. I am a listener. I make a point to pay attention what is said to me. I really want to hear what you have to say.

5. I am embarrassed of my self. I don't hold myself in high esteem. I am starting to but I think a lifetime of hating myself and everything about me is hard to change overnight.

6. Secretly I have always wanted to be a cheerleader or a dancer. I know it's crazy but it's true. I think it would be awesome to perform but I know this is something I wouldn't or couldn't do.

7. I have a bucket list of places I want to visit. Las Vegas, Hawaii, Spain, and Rome.

Here are my blog choices: by Michelle. She has great recipes and is so down to earth. She is also on facebook. A Southern Girl by Jennifer. I can relate to a lot of what she is going through so it is nice to read her blog and not feel so alone in my journey "B.O.O.B.S. otherwise known as Band of outrageous Babes! Enough said!! by Jeanine. She keeps it real. Whether she is up or down on the scale. She is an inspiration!! She has lost 115 lbs within 14 months of surgery!! I know I can make just by seeing her success. You go GIRL! It's about her journey to her goal. Her little black dress. Sometimes the prize is all the motivation you need to keep you going. by Mary. She finally was banded and seems really motivated. She is going fabulous in her weight loss! by Paige. She struggles at times but keeps trucking along. Been there done that! Fashionista. Always full of great topics and ideas. by Alison. Reminds me that everyone around the world has the same issues and struggles yet we are all in this together. by Amy. Has lost over 126 lbs. WOW~~~ by Megan. Who isn't looking for recipes and tips?? by Jo. It's reassuring that I am not the only one that weighs myself every morning.LOL! by Breanne. She's lost over 70 lbs. I like to keep these successes around me. Awesome!! Proof that all goals can be achieved a little at a time.

I am always looking for more bander blogs to follow so shoot me an email.

Friday, January 21, 2011

2010 Review and Reflect

I thought I would sit down and contemplate the year that has passed. Wow, it has been a whirlwind of events. This time last year I was getting ready for my first meeting with the surgeon's office to get information. Here I sit a year later with a whole new life. Amazing how life changes in such a short period of time.

I have gone from flab to fab. Well, okay that is a little overboard but I am getting there. The point is I feel fab, more fab about myself than I have in more than 20 years. It is an amazing feat to say the least. I am really proud of what I have accomplished.

So many things have changed about myself. My size of course. I am down 91 lbs. WOO HOO!!
My BP is so so much better. Being able to reduce my meds gives me a whole new freedom.
Since my size is down, so are my clothes sizes. I am able to buy off the rack at a regular store, of course in their plus or Women's department but the fact is I don't HAVE to go to Lane Bryant anymore. I had to go there because that is the only place I could find plus size clothes that were actually plus sized. Not long before my surgery I didn't even go there. I had to buy online because I was bigger than the biggest size in the LB. I could find pants but never any tops.

My mobility is way better. I am able to get around better. I can CROSS MY LEGS!! That to me is a major accomplishment. I can once again be lady-like.

I am posting pics of myself on facebook. That is almost impossible to believe. The pic I posted here today I also posted on facebook. I'm okay with that because I am proud of how I look right now. I see the difference and yes I know I am still fat I am just not as fat. The last time I got my hair done was in September. That was 4 months ago! I haven't colored or cut my hair. I was letting myself go. I can't do that. I have to keep my hair up because it makes me look more presentable and it makes me feel better about myself. From now on I need to make this time for myself because I am so worth it now.
2010 is gone and 2011 is just creeping in. I can't wait to see what this year brings. It is exciting to think of all that I will accomplish with my weight this year.

I started working out this week. I am taking it really slow. If I jump in too fast, knowing myself, I will just drop it like a hot potato. I finished my exercise room. It has an elliptical, treadmill, recumbent bike, weights, and TV/DVD. I have everything I could possibly need, except motivation. I am working on it.

Welcome 2011. Let's see what you've got...

This is my new pic, January 21, 2011

Thursday, January 13, 2011

91 pounds down!!

WOW! is all I can say. I look back at myself this time last year and I was a few weeks away from my intake appointment. The beginning of my new future. Little did I know that I was starting to turn my life completely around. It has been a whirlwind affair to say the least.

In October 2008, I had a TIA or mini stroke. That scared me but not enough to really take a hard look at my life. I think because I had no lasting damage and it didn't slow me down, it didn't really register. I was lucky. Little did I know that I had an underlying medical condition that was still so new that few doctors looked for it. It is called APS or antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome. I was fed up with heavy periods and painful cramps so I decided to see my GYN about the ablation procedure. I had two friends who had the procedures with great success. They were both period free for a year or two at that time. I wanted that freedom too. When my new GYN took a history she immediately suspected APS and wanted to test  me. When the test came back positive they frantically called me up and said to make sure I tell doctors and dentists that I have this disorder. What disorder? I was so confused. I didn't think it was a big deal. I assumed she thought this was a cause of my post partum hemorrhaging with the birth of my 1st son, in addition to miscarriages and the TIA. When I went back for my follow up after the ablation procedure she explained in great detail just how devastating this disorder can be. I don't clot properly or it is a crap shoot if I do. I can bleed out or clot up and have a stroke, heart attack or embolism. Scary stuff!! Apparently it is an autoimmune disorder that attacks fat cells. And boy did I have a LOT of those. Other factors are HBP and diabetes, both of which I have. So I basically was a walking time bomb.

I went to my current physician, of which my previous blog notes my extreme unhappiness with the most recent visit. She has always helped me and been there so even though my last blog was me being pissed off I will give her another chance but I can say that if she treats me that way again I will find another doctor. That being said, I went to her after I got the diagnosis of APS and took her the paperwork showing the results. She simply said, OH MY! Oh My. She then said well there are several things we need to get under control. HBP, diabetes and my weight. She said my weight needed to come off fast! She suggested weight loss surgery but it was my decision. She advised me to research options and doctors on my own, that she will not refer me to any particular doctor. Whatever I decide she will support me and do whatever is needed to help. I chose lap band and here I am today.

My successes are measurable. I am down from 4 HBP meds to 1 and that is only taken because this one is beneficial for blood sugar control. I still have the Protonix for reflux but it is now as needed only. I had been off of it for several months then had a bad month of sliming episodes so I once again needed them. Now I keep them on hand for emergency or as the reflux starts up I nip it immediately. No diabetes meds. My weight is down 91 lbs. I am in smaller clothes, I can fit in clothes off the rack so therefore I can spend less on a single article of clothing. I am still in plus sizes but I suspect not for long at the rate I am going. My surgeon said over 3 years I should lose about 120 lbs which is roughly 65% of my excess weight. That is 40lbs a year and I am already down 91 lbs in 8 months. Theoretically, if I continue at this rate I will surpass the goal my surgeon set by my 1 yr bandversary on May 12th. I could be in a truly normal weight range by Christmas this year. How cool would that be?

I HIGHLY recommend the surgery. My life has taken on new meaning in just 8 months. I have a new found appreciation for myself and no longer consider myself grotesque. I know I have a long way to go but I know now that I will get there. I could NEVER say that before. For anyone considering the surgery, please consider it hard. It is truly just a tool but when used correctly can be your best friend. I read of people who have had the surgery and obsess over diet and making sure they don't eat very much or they say they drink lots of shakes. I really don't fret over my diet AT ALL. For the first time in my life I am diet free. I eat what I want and if it isn't going to work for me, my band let's me know. What I have learned and now do virtually without thinking is to make better choices but they are still my choices. Breaded items are not a good fit for me, same goes for deep fried because they are almost always breaded. Occasionally I have a day or two where I can eat bread and I will get my bread fix. Then it gets stuck and I am so over wanting bread just that quickly. I never was a big sweets person so desserts are not a real issue for me. I was into deep fried and breaded. My most notable change is giving up soft drinks completely. I stopped those in March 2010. Prior to stopping I was drinking about four 20oz bottles per day and would also throw in a few canned sodas each day. It was bad. I stopped cold turkey on the day I scheduled my surgery for May. That day in March was the beginning of my new life. I have never looked back since then.

Monday, January 10, 2011


Well I am more than peeved. My employer had made us take a urine test a few years ago to prove we are non smokers in order to get discounted insurance. This year they are making us go to the doctor and get a form filled out and fax it to a health management company in order to keep the discounted rates. Before this year the rates weren't a big difference. This year, the discounted rates saves me around $800 a year. BIG DIFFERENCE!

Here's the problem, the health management company is harrassing and frankly, my health is between me and my doctor. This company calls multiple times per day leaving rude messages when I don't call back. They do this to everyone.

The second problem is the form asks for height, weight, cholesterol, and glucose readings. My employer claims that this will be kept confidential with the health management company and neither my employer nor my health insureance will get access to it. I don't believe that at all. I think at the very least the health management company will compile stats on the company health and the company will use this to target more health issues next year to charge higher rates like they do for smokers.

Third, my doctor was a screw up today. First I made the appointment for Friday because the doctor refused to just fill out the paper. They only needed the results from ANY appointment in the last 12 months not an actual physical. Then they changed my appointment to Monday because they said the doctor wanted 30 min with me. I go in today and waited in the waiting room for 30 min. I was the only one in there. Then I get called back and they apologize saying they are backed up. I said really? because there is no one here. They said it would be a few minutes. Then 45 min later the doctor comes in and stays for all of 5 min. She didn't want to fill out the form and in the end marked all the boxes for the health management company to call me to discuss issues. SERIOUSLY just ruin my life why don't you? So the 30 min appt lasted 5 min but I waited for a hour and a half. REALLY TICKED OFF. What really got me was my doctor said my weight was high and we needed to address that. I said you are kidding right? Since when is 90 lb weight loss not enough? She completely forgot and didn't even bother to read my chart and blew my disgust off like it was nothing. Then she noted my BP was high. Again she doesn't understand. I said well I assume it's high because I am pissed off. She then left the room. What a freakin waste of my time.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Still Going Strong

I did not go for my fill Thursday. I am still way too tight. I am definitely in the green zone. I eat a normal portion and then I am not hungry for about 5 hours, provided what I ate was solid protein. If I eat something soupy like chili or sausage potato soup them I am hungry again in about 3-4 hours but that is still good.

I am tight at every meal now. I have to eat slow and small small bites. It gets stuck and then eventually eases up. It's like my esophagus has a spasm a little. Everything gets stuck even if it is refried beans, soup, chili or scrambled eggs.

My weight loss is still doing well. I am so happy with my decision to have this surgery. My surgeon said I should lose 120 lbs over 3 years and I am up to 90 lbs now in just under 8 months. Life is good right now.

My employer has a fitness center. It's small and I really don't like it because I still really embarrassed. We have free fitness classes. Sooo...I am biting the proverbial bullet and am going to start taking Zumba classes on Tuesday. Wish me luck!!! I hope I don't scare people or myself. I am very very very nervous about it.
My work is also having a belly busters contest. It's based on the biggest loser. I have had a few say I should enter the contest but I can't. I don't feel it would be fair. I am dropping weight and inches almost daily. I would feel horrible about winning a contest like that knowing I had my "little friend" helping me.

A new year, a new outlook on life.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year

Happy New Year to Everyone! I am both excited and dreading this new year. I think the thought of the unknown makes me dread it. I know where I have been, I know where I would like to be and where I would hope to end up at. It is up to me to make this happen.

Here is my motto for 2011:
Every new year people make resolutions to change aspects of themselves they believe are negative. A majority of people revert back to how they were before and feel like failures. This year I challenge you to a new resolution. I challenge you to just be yourself.


Aisha Elderwynv

Never a truer word spoken. I always try to be myself. If people can't like me for who I am then they aren't worth knowing. Unfortunately, sometimes that makes for a lonely existence. I hope 2011 brings me more friends, more happiness and more success. I can dream can't I?
My latest update:
My last fill was December 2, 2010. To date, I am still pretty tight. I have found that drinking alcohol seems to loosen things up. I had 2 wings for lunch with cole slaw and mashed potatoes. The chicken wings got stuck. Before dinner I had Green Apple Vodka and OJ. Then I tried a ham sandwich(on a bun) and it went down fine. Hmmm....interesting. I don't think I am going to start drinking liquor before meals. LOL.
I was supposed to get another fill this week but I am going to forgo that appointment. I don't need it right now. I am in the green zone for sure. Of course after my drinking binge last night I am up in weight this morning. Prior to this I had hit below 260 at 259. I am loving my new life. At times it is difficult but the results are staggering to me. The most success I have had in years. Thank you LAP BAND!!
Happy New Year everyone and God Bless!