Sunday, August 1, 2010

Re-thinking this whole Not needing a fill

I feel so guilty about how much I am eating. I don't see the scale moving down either. It seems to be stuck. I know my doc's office said I should eat a salad plate size but I feel it's too much and I could eat more. Like last night, when I did.
Ok it was my 40th birthday yesterday and all I kept thinking about was my doctor telling me that once you hit 40 the weight loss starts to slow down and it is harder to get the weight off. I am thinking this as I am devouring my birthday dinner at Texas Roadhouse. My hubby took me out to eat and while I appreciate the sentiment, eating out is not exactly high on my priority list anymore. Oh it used to be, just not now.
He had me order the 12 oz rib eye, which I love, so he would eat what was left over. I also had loaded mashed potatoes and a salad. Along with my Jamaican Cowboy to drink. I drank all of it. In case you didn't know, rib eye's usually come with a "tail". It is this wrap-around piece that is very tender and juicy. I ate all of the tail and left the mail part of the steak for him. I had I would guesstimate about 4 oz. First though I ate most of the salad because they bring that first. It had cheese and eggs on it and the BEST ranch dressing. I also had loaded mashed potatoes and ate most of that. I felt filled to the gills and SUPER guilty! Now granted that was pretty much all I had yesterday other than the grazing I did because I was just too lazy to actually fix myself a meal so I just snacked all day. It was a bad day all around. I broke my routine and that is habit I don't want to get into again.
I think I have actually gained 2 lbs this week. I was bloated last week when I went to the doctor. By Wednesday my scale was showing a 2 lb loss after the bloating was gone. Now my scale is back up the 2 lbs.
I even got on the recumbent bike yesterday. TMI ALERT...note to self...DO NOT eat bean dip and then think you ride on a bike without consequences. Let's just say the beans kicked in and then kicked my ass. I barely made 5 minutes before the motion of pedaling worked everything loose. I couldn't get back on the bike the rest of the day.
I guess I need to make today a new day and start getting back on track. Planning some meals, make sure I have plenty of food on hand each day to choose from. I still have to make it through one more birthday lunch with my mom tomorrow and then I will be good. Then it will be back to work,again.
Speaking of work, Friday I ordered lunch from O'Charleys and ate a 1/2 club sandwich and a bowl of loaded potato soup. I ate the whole thing and didn't feel the least bit full. I then ate chips. I NEVER eat chips just to be eating them. Maybe too much sodium? Let's hope that is what was wrong. I need to stop eating out because it is killing my efforts.
Ok so back to my birthday...
I got a cool gift that I really love. My hubby had bought me a ZUNE 4GB a few years ago at a silent auction. It was the largest memory one I had ever had and it played videos. I didn't use the memory up ever. All of a sudden these past few months I finally did and wanted a larger one. I of course always mention to my oldest son what gifts I want and he relays them to my DH. They got it right this time. I got a ZUNE 32GB. LOVE IT! It is touch screen and has wireless Internet. I had thought I wanted and IPOD but realized that with IPOD I would have to buy their songs only. I couldn't just download from the CDs I had or downloads I had. With ZUNE you can use anything so it is a much better choice and less expensive in the long run when it comes to downloads. I highly recommend it. I have had no problems with it whatsoever. The 4GB has a really small screen but the larger one is so worth the extra dough and has a nice large screen. I also got the Percy Jackson movie and Gabriel Iglesias aka Mr. Fluffy dvd. A few of my co-workers gave me a Vera Bradley sticky note cube and my boss gave me a gift card and some office supplies. One of my buddies at work drew my name for birthdays. We had 3 this week. First we had Dairy Queen ice cream cake, then a giant cookie so for mine, she knew I didn't really eat sweets and we had a lot already so she made layered taco dip. I was thrilled with that. Plenty of protein. She said she researched the protein content of it. AND my DH sent me carnations to work. That was about it. Oh and I got a Baskin Robbins ice cream cake with gold medal ribbon ice cream in it. YUM! I will be having that as a treat. So my 40th birthday is over and I am on the ride downhill. We will see how that goes. My knee has been hurting for the past few days. It stopped after I took my Vitamin D and then started up again. We will see since I take it again tomorrow.

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