Sunday, May 6, 2012

Nearly a Month

Wow, it has been nearly a month since I last wrote. What words could describe the last month?
Frustrated, depressed, inadequate, lonely...the list could go on. I think the biggest word would be failure.

Yes I feel like a failure. At some things, not everything. My weight has been at a standstill. My set back in December has really set me back big time. I weight exactly what I did a year ago. I lost additional weight by December then gained it back but am sitting at the same weight. No more gaining but not losing either. It is depressing. I don't want a fill because I can't eat much. Here is my typical day;

Breakfast: eggs w/laughing cow or a bowl of cereal
Lunch: 3/4 of a burger, no bun or 3/4 chicken nachos, no chips
Dinner: a small grilled pork chop or 1/2 chicken breast and 1/4 c green beans
Snacks: 1/4c trail mix, wheat thin chips or individual bag of popcorn

I only drink Vitamin Water Zero. So my thoughts are that maybe I am not getting enough calories. I know a person needs a certain amount of calories just for your body to function. I just don't know anymore.

I have still lost 100 lbs total after the weight gain in December. That is still  a huge accomplishment but I want more. I want to lose more.

What to do?
Exercise? I don't know. I have a big problem with hip pain. My hip locks up / catches in the middle of the night. It is extremely painful. It isn't because I am laying on the hip either. If I am laying on my left side then my right hip will lock up. It makes no sense. I did some research on the Internet and I may have a labral tear in my hip. I need to find time to get to the doctor and get this checked out. It is prohibiting me from getting around. I find myself sitting around a lot now rather than getting up and moving around. That concerns me.

More of a concern to me is my daughter. She is 8 years old and weighs 93 lbs. Her weight keeps going up and up. Poor thing. She eats way too much and when we cut her off, she gets very hostile. She will scream at us that she is hungry. I am concerned for her. I am getting her brother to help in the efforts. My 13 yr old son is a twig. Unlike the rest of us he can eat whatever he wants as much as he wants and he stays thin. He is 5'9" and weighs 140.5 lbs. He likes to tease her about her weight. I have put a stop to that explaining what he does to her when he does that. There is a competition between them. Whenever there is food, there is an argument on how much they get and who gets to eat the rest of it. For example, pizza. We order pizza. It comes and they immediately start arguing over how many slices they get and actually will take the slices and stack them on a plate so the other one can't get them. She will eat them all. He on the other hand stops eating after one or two slices. If there is a bag of chips. They will ask if they can have the rest and it might be a full bag. I say no then they get mad and refuse to eat any. Okay no skin off back. Don't eat it. I have stopped buying chips, even though my husband wants them. He also wants ice cream sandwiches which my daughter loves and will eat because her Dad allows it. I refuse to buy them. If they want sweets, I buy fruit Popsicle only.

We need help. Desperately. I need help to lose more weight. It is getting hard for me to get around again.

1 comment:

FitBy40 said...

Oh that's a tough one with your daughter! I have a 5 year old who is at the tippy top of the weight chart too, and I really don't want her growing up overweight like I did. I also don't want to make a huge deal out of it because I don't wand her to have a complex!
The one thing that comes to mind is that you could ALL go for a family walk each night after dinner. You could all use a little exercise, and it's a nice family activity. We've started doing that here, when it's not pouring out (like today) and the kids love it. Sure they complain in the beginning, but they end up liking it.
Good luck!