Sunday, March 4, 2012

Nothing has changed

Well it has been a few weeks since my fill and nothing has changed on the scale. I haven't lost a pound. I have some restriction. I have been keeping a journal of my eating and keeping track of calories fat and protein so I can have a visual. No budge on the scale. I just don't get it. Can it get any more depressing??

I didn't have any trouble up until December. Now nothing is going right for me. I feel like a failure and I am in this depressing slump. I have had emails from people telling me to quit being so pathetic. Really? This is my blog and I keep it real. Period!! I am not going to sugar coat it and pretend things are great if they aren't.

And things are not great right now. I don't regret my surgery at all. I know this is a bump in the road that I will have to get through somehow. The somehow is the hard part. I just don't know what to do.

I know one thing for certain, my boycott of eating out didn't last long. I rode along with my friend and brought my lunch but my restriction isn't much so I started eating out again even though I had my lunch with me. I just can't wrap my mind back where I need to be.

My desk was moved at work. I am now at the other end of the building from my friend so I won't be visiting her much. I am hoping this will give me the nudge I need to stay clear of it. Maybe if I don't ride with her at all except maybe once a week and eat out that day with her, that will work. This is all that I can think of that is causing me to not lose any weight. I haven't lost a pound. I am hovering at the same weight which is good in some respects and is better than gaining but depressing none the less. I keep a daily journal of my food intake, protein and such. So this has to be it. I feel swollen all the time. I guess I need to look at the sodium intake as well as fluid intake. I hardly drink at all. I probably only get about 40 oz of fluid a day if that. When I first had surgery, I was so strong. I brought my food daily, never ate out. Now I don't have that same resolve. Is it because I left my position I had held for many years to something new? Is it because there is no one where I am at now, that knows I had surgery so no one can hold me accountable? Everyone around me knew at my last position. I feel like I can't fix something if I don't know what is causing it.

I went to Trader Joe's. There are some interesting items there. Different things. I love the hard boiled eggs. So convenient. I eat them as is, make deviled eggs one at a time, slice on a salad or make egg salad. They don't have that sulphur smell so great to take to work. I also got turkey meatloaf muffins. Small portions topped with spinach and mashed potatoes. The turkey muffins have 13g protein. I haven't tried them yet but will let you know. You just pop them in the microwave. I also bought spicy Thai chicken pasta salad. 1/2 of the container is 14g of protein. Again haven't tried it yet but will report later.

I just wish I had the support I need here in town. I have done this alone for so long that now that I need help and support I can't find it.


Anonymous said...

Angie, I am sorry you are feeling alone. I am here and reading and I don't think anything about what you are going through is pathetic. The only thing I can recommend from what I am reading is to try one thing at a time and see if it helps the weight budge. Try to force yourself to drink more water and track that. I hope you break through soon.

FitBy40 said...

You're struggling, like we all do, because you're human. That's not pathetic, it's real.
The only advice I can give you right now that just might get things moving, because it worked for me and a couple of friends, is to drink a liter (yup, 30 oz.!) of water in the morning BEFORE breakfast or coffee. I know it sounds drastic, but it seems to work. It starts the engine running and flushes out the kidneys.
Best of luck!