It has been a few days since my fill on Monday. My first fill since my unfill back in December. Too loose? Nope. Too tight? Nope. Just right? You know it!
I feel restriction. I feel my fullness meter has been activated. It is such a good feeling. I am eating way less than this time last week. I feel full and stop. No issues. No problems, knock on wood.
It's amazing how much I have missed that. My whole attitude as changed since Monday. I know I am dependant on the band. It's like my personal crack. Without it I go into withdrawal. I get depressed, a hopeless feeling. I feel like I can't make it through the day without it. Yeah dramatic I know but true. Since getting my fill Monday, and feeling the restriction, my whole mood has lightened up. I am happier. I felt drawn into a depression. It was all mental. It is an addiction. Is that a good thing? I'm a little concerned about that. It shouldn't be that way. Am I so scared of gaining weight that I sabotage my success by freaking out when I get an unfill? Or has my success for a year and a half with no problems caused me to be too comfortable and not realize there are real complications and problems until I had one? By then I was unprepared?
I started writing down what I eat, calories, fat and protein content. I am trying to stay within a certain caloric intake to keep things in check, nothing extreme right now just 2000 calories. I am taking it slow and will continue to adjust that. I am focusing on protein content mainly. It seems to be working. I am also planning my meals. Taking my portions and snacks to work. I want to make sure I don't get stuck again.
Snacks this week are: yogurt, Belvita, trail mix, and apple slices.
Here is something I noticed. Not only am I feeling full but I am feeling hungry. See when I had the unfill, I never felt full but I also never had hunger pains. I just ate to be eating. Now since the fill, I feel fullness and I also get hunger pains. I hadn't realized I had not felt those in a long time until this week. I had forgotten how painful those pains can get. Yikes!
Mood: VERY HAPPY
I feel restriction. I feel my fullness meter has been activated. It is such a good feeling. I am eating way less than this time last week. I feel full and stop. No issues. No problems, knock on wood.
It's amazing how much I have missed that. My whole attitude as changed since Monday. I know I am dependant on the band. It's like my personal crack. Without it I go into withdrawal. I get depressed, a hopeless feeling. I feel like I can't make it through the day without it. Yeah dramatic I know but true. Since getting my fill Monday, and feeling the restriction, my whole mood has lightened up. I am happier. I felt drawn into a depression. It was all mental. It is an addiction. Is that a good thing? I'm a little concerned about that. It shouldn't be that way. Am I so scared of gaining weight that I sabotage my success by freaking out when I get an unfill? Or has my success for a year and a half with no problems caused me to be too comfortable and not realize there are real complications and problems until I had one? By then I was unprepared?
I started writing down what I eat, calories, fat and protein content. I am trying to stay within a certain caloric intake to keep things in check, nothing extreme right now just 2000 calories. I am taking it slow and will continue to adjust that. I am focusing on protein content mainly. It seems to be working. I am also planning my meals. Taking my portions and snacks to work. I want to make sure I don't get stuck again.
Snacks this week are: yogurt, Belvita, trail mix, and apple slices.
Here is something I noticed. Not only am I feeling full but I am feeling hungry. See when I had the unfill, I never felt full but I also never had hunger pains. I just ate to be eating. Now since the fill, I feel fullness and I also get hunger pains. I hadn't realized I had not felt those in a long time until this week. I had forgotten how painful those pains can get. Yikes!
Mood: VERY HAPPY
No comments:
Post a Comment