The week in review

Well, it didn't go as planned. Monday I took my lunch and life was good. Tuesday was our Mid-Manager's retreat. BORING!! Lunch consisted of grilled chicken, bbq pulled pork, potato salad, cole slaw, green beans, salad, and cookies. I got a small piece of chicken, a tsp of pork, potato salad, green beans, a little cole slaw, a little salad and cookies. I always get a smidgeon of each because I never know what will go down and what won't. It went okay. I ate 3/4 of the chicken, pork, potato salad, green beans. I ended up eating about 3/4 of my plate. Wednesday my hubby and I went to the state fair. I had several lemon shake-ups. LOVE EM! I had 1/2 a cheeseburger and some aussie cheese fries. A little caramel corn and that was it. Not too bad. Lunch on Thursday was from our company caterer which was angus patty (like salisbury steak) mashed potatoes and salad. I ate all of the meat and a little of the rest. Friday was QDoba so I did not keep to my plan to bring lunch everyday.

Next week I should have a better shot at it. I start a computer programming class next week, Mon/Wed/Fri, during lunch so I have to bring my lunch if I want to eat. That leaves Tues/Thurs. I think I can make it work. I also take 2 night computer programming classes each week.

So, for this next week I once again am going to try and get my protein in.

It will be hard because of my son's football and in a few weeks it will be his football and my daughter's cheer.

The daily buzz....

Hunger is not a problem these days as much as getting the protein in is. I believe that I haven't lost any weight because I am not getting enough protein. So, my goal this week is to increase my protein daily to get in at least 120g a day. I need to find my niche again and this is the only thing I can think is causing me not to lose weight. I am not overeating, if anything I may be under eating because I am not hungry very often.

So far today...

B: eggs, laughing cow cheese (28g protein)

L: McDonald's Angus deluxe snack wrap (20g protein)
D: will be meatloaf casserole. I don't know if I have calculated the protein in that or not. Need to check on it.

Even if dinner is 20g of protein that will leave me short on protein for the day since we should have at least 70g of protein a day. What to do, what to do? I am usually not more hungry than this. I am not a fan of protein bars or protein shakes. I prefer real food to get my protein. I am making spinach artichoke dip for snack so that will add another 7-10g of protein.

Another thing I have been or haven't been doing lately is eating my protein first. I am a plate grazer. I eat a little of this and that all over the plate. When I first had surgery I put only protein on my plate first then veggies after I ate the protein. I don't anymore. I fix my entire plate and hence I graze on different ones instead of eating my protein first. So I have identified two potential causes for me not losing weight. This week I will put them to the test.

Speaking of tests, Tuesday will be a big test for me. I have a Mid-Management Retreat. My first one. It is an all day event at a facility away from work. We eat breakfast & lunch there. I know for breakfast they are having ham biscuits. I plan on eating my breakfast before I leave home. So I may eat a little fruit. Lunch will be chicken. I can do chicken. The test is that I don't get stuck. This retreat is with dozens and dozens of people so the stuck potential is high and close proximity to the bathroom is low. Fingers crossed.

I also plan on going to the state fair this week. Wow how will I ever resist the krispy kreme hamburger on donuts or the fried kool aid? Yeah I don't see them as a problem, yuck!  I used to love the ribeye sandwich, too tough for me to chew now, and the pork sandwich. Pork gets stuck. Fried broccoli and cheese and fried cauliflower, can't have. I loved the fries with cheese, bacon and ranch. Can't really eat fries anymore either. Oh and funnel cakes or elephant ears?? Bread product, not likely. I'm really not sure what I will get to eat. I went last year and got a healthy veggie plate from one of the stands and was bored and disappointed. I mean part of the fun of going to the fair is the fair food. I might try a Gyro. Never had that. Burger without the bun I guess. Not too appealing at the fair. Looking forward to the lemonade shake ups. YUM! Lots of walking to be had there so I will get my exercise in. Not too many places to sit down and veg out. I can have the sliced apples with hot caramel. Yummy. We are going sans kids so I am looking forward to enjoying some time with hubby just perusing the fair seeing what we want to see when we want to see it.

The rest of the week will be ordinary. I just have to bring my lunch. I have problems with a friend who wants to get lunch daily. We don't actually go eat somewhere, we just run and pick it up so it's a lot of fast food. Famous Daves (BBQ place), QDoba(southwestern) which is actually high protein(45-50g) so I don't mind that one, Homerun Burger, Jason's Deli. Other than QDoba none are good choices for me. I want to bring my lunch all week that I am there but how to tell her without pissing her off?? She uses our lunch time to vent about how crappy things are for her since I left the unit. I feel bad for her but I am not sorry I left. I had a great opportunity and took it and am extremely happy where I am at. Anyway, I need to think of myself and where I am heading both health wise and job wise. This time I come first. I am off work two days this week so that only leaves two days to bring my lunch. I can compromise to Qdoba one day but the other will be my lunch from home.

Now I am off to get laundry finished for another school week for the kids and work week for me.

MIA for a while

I have been busy busy for quite a while. My new job keeps me busy all day but now that I get off work at 5pm I have more time for my family. My son just started football. He's in middle school. You know he played flag football for 3 years. He's in 7th grade and is playing his first year of full contact football.
Now, my son is by no means a big boy. He's tall but lean and they have him as a linebacker. So sad really. Some of the boys he's played against he said he just prayed they didn't fall on him. They were HUGE!!

Well we have been going to his games which are about 2-3 games per week. My daughter starts cheer at the end of the month so once we get football over we will be going to the elementary school basketball games that she cheers at.

 My new pic from last week

Band news-- 
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No gain, no loss. I thought I was getting restriction back but no, it's gone again. I guess I just need to suck it up and go get a fill. I hate to shell out the $150. As I have said before I don't have restriction. I eat fine for about 5-10 min then BAM. A wall slams down and the food prairie dogs back up my throat. Sometimes there is pain in the chest with the food coming back up. Sliming is a real possibility. Throwing up is almost a certainty.
I don't overeat though. I think because most of the time the food comes back up I end up not getting enough food. I have added some protein drinks on those day. I still am not fond of protein drinks.

My food intake today:

B: a scrambled egg, wedge of laughing cow @ 6:30 am

L: a deluxe angus snack wrap from McDonalds @ 12:30 pm

D: Chicken breast, cauliflower @ 7:00 pm

Snack: snack pack of pringles, rice krispie treat.
Vitamin Water Zero.

I only eat when I am hungry so it's not as if I am hungry often. The food I do eat stays with me for a long time. Sometimes I force lunch or dinner because I am not hungry but I know if I don't get enough calories/fat in a day I can't function and my body will revert to starvation mode. I had that happen when I was 17 yrs old. It is not pretty. I was very sick. I didn't know at the time but later found out the cause. I had sores in my mouth and down my throat. It was so bad I couldn't eat or drink for 3 weeks and I couldn't even swallow my own saliva. I spit in a tissue. I ended up in the hospital with collapsed veins. When they were finally able to get an IV in me I was 70% better in no time due to the fluids. Test revealed I was in starvation mode. I also learned after spending a week in the hospital that I am allergic to artificial sweeteners like splenda, aspartame, etc. Stevia doesn't bother me because it is natural.

Tomorrow is a new day. I need to get this figured out. I guess I am back to trial and error. More error than anything it seems.

I think its time for another fill

But I am still on the fence about it. After weeks if not a few months of consistently getting stuck I have been able to eat bread lately. Not a lot but still, something I don't usually do.

For instance, when I eat egg salad on toast, I can eat 2 slices of toast. Last night I grilled burgers and I ate 2/3 of a burger including the bun. But that's all I ate for dinner. Today we got HomeRun Burgers. I usually take the bun off and eat the meat and toppings. Today I cut the burger in 1/2 and picked off most of the top bun and ate half of it with about 6 cajun fries. Now the kicker is I seem to get full faster when I eat some sort of bread with my meal as part of the meal like the toast or the bun.

Tonight's dinner is Chicken and Black Bean Quesadilla.

My total food intake for today was:

Breakfast:2 tbsp egg salad on 1 slice of toast.

Lunch: 1/2 Cheeseburger w/ 6 cajun fries

Dinner: 1/2 of a Chicken/Black bean quesadilla (maybe as I have eaten 1 wedge and may not finish the 2nd wedge yet)

I feel restriction which I haven't felt in months. Not the stuck feeling but the full feeling. It's nice to feel it again.

Ok, I got a new phone for my birthday so it takes pics front and back. Sweet! Here is today's pic of me. I took it at work today. After the pic I called up the salon and made an appointment for a cut and color next Friday. I desperately need it!!

I had a wonderful vacation, and am really rested. I am glad to be back at work but still puzzled by the restriction feeling. It's something I haven't felt in so long it is foreign to me. Hello my old friend, welcome back! I hope you stay awhile. I may hold off once again on getting that fill.

Question, does anyone else "hiccup" when their pouch is maxed out? When I eat (when I have restriction, that is) when I have the restriction feeling, I start to biccup. It's a cross between a belch and a hiccup.

Oh well, here's to restriction, may you reside in my band as long as you can...

I say....Unbutton your pants!!

Ok, I know that sounds crazy but frankly I was at my wits end lately with the whole getting stuck thing. No matter what I tried, did or ate there was no rhyme nor reason on why. Well, I have come to the conclusion that it may have something to do with my pants. Or more specifically my waistband.

Let me explain...

My port like everyone else is located basically where my waistband hits. I tell you it is a freaky feeling when my waistband "catches" on my port. I am so paranoid something will happen to it given that I paid cash for my surgery. No insurance will cover the problems. Anyway, back to topic. I found that whenever I wore loose pants or pants with a non binding elastic waistband I didn't have "slam-the-door-shut" stuck issues. I mean I would still get the slight pressure which was an indicator to slow it down but it wasn't so painful that I would have to go throw up to get relief. I was able to enjoy my meals. Now I started watching what was I wearing when I got stuck, stuck hard and apparently those times I had on jeans or tight waist pants. I got the idea to unbutton my jeans one day when we were eating. It was just enough to allow the pressure to subside and the food went down. I have continued to test my theory over the past few days and it seems to be consistent.

So, stress AND waistband tightness can cause band issues. And people think WLS is the easy diet fix. There is nothing easy about it. 

As I have said before, I recently got promoted. New promotions are announced in a newsletter which includes a picture. UGH!! My last picture was nearly 2 years ago so I opted for the picture update. I really don't like pictures but given that I have lost 115 lbs in the last year I think the difference would be amazing and was worth it. So I stood up against the wall and had my picture taken and  must say it was a pretty good one. One that I won't mind when it comes out. I will have to copy it and post it on here which reminds me I still haven't posted my 1 year pics. I am so behind the times. 

Today I went shopping for my birthday(which is tomorrow). I will be 41. My mom insists on taking me out and buying me a gift rather than giving me a check. So we went to Old Navy. Yeah I love that place. Found clearanced a pair of pants, a shirt and sunglasses. We then went consignment shopping. I found 3 pairs of pants there. It's funny how I don't mind shopping for clothes anymore. 

Despite not losing much weight lately, it is still all good.

Finally back to normal

Well, my water weight gain is now gone. I am back to my pre-water weight gain weight. Boy that was a mouthful!! I am also down an additional .5 lb. My grand total to date is 115.5 lbs.

I have NO idea on why I swelled. No idea on why it went away. Go figure. Maybe the lab work I had done will tell me something.

My little addictions are getting out of hand. I am really into egg salad on wheat toast (yay I can eat toast with egg salad on it!!) and rice krispie treats. I eat a rice krispie treat every night before bed, while in bed and after every meal. Seriously I do! I go through these phases or cravings all the time. It's crazy but my one rule is that I don't deny myself anything I want as long as it doesn't cause any band problems. While I would love to have a Big Red or a grape soda I won't because of the carbonation however I do indulge in the rare Coca Cola Float from Wendy's. YUMMY! and since it is mixed with a frosty the carbonation is not a problem. I love them so I do not go by Wendy's very often.

Today I had:

egg salad

wings

rice krispie treats

Sad isn't it?

Gaining ground...not a good thing

I am posting my first gain. This gain though is due to water retention. This heat is causing me great distress with swelling. I haven't had any issues with swelling in a year. I went on vacation and gained 12 lbs. I took a water pill last night and lost 8 of those pounds. At first one would think ok you were on vacation and just gained weight due to poor eating. Nope, I ate better than I do at home. I still got stuck just as much so nothing really changed. I spent 10 days swimming and bike riding but it wasn't muscle gain.

I went to the doctor today about it. I was diagnosed with CHF(congestive heart failure) in 2001. I assumed the swelling was also due to the CHF. Probably not. My doctor said back in 2001 they didn't have the tests available to pinpoint specifically if a person has CHF. Due to my spontaneous collapsed lung and back then they assumed it was CHF. She said since I have lost so much weight that it is unlikely plus coupled with the fact that I had an echo cardiogram and PET scan before the band surgery and they both came out normal.

Needless to say I am going back tomorrow for more tests. But the extreme heat here is probably the cause.

I found that roll ups are good protein choices when traveling. They are very simple and when kept in the cooler are good for a snack or light meal.

I am making my foods for this week for lunches. I have to get away from eating out every day. So, I am making egg salad, chicken salad, jalapeno roll ups and smokey red beans and rice with smoked sausage. Now if only I can keep to the plan. It's hard to do when I have someone who wants or expects me to go to lunch daily. Be strong, say no. Yeah, easier said than done.

Eating lunch while traveling was difficult because the choices for lunch are fast food. We ended up at Wendys most days when we were on the road. I had the chicken wrap but frankly got sick and tired of chicken. We stopped at DQ on the way back home and I ate nothing. There was nothing but chicken strips and I just couldn't bring myself to eat them. My husband pissed me off by telling me its better than nothing. Oh how I ripped him a new one over that comment. I think he was being insensitive since I told him there was nothing there I could eat but chicken and I didn't want chicken so he said that was where he was stopping. Intentional? Oh Hell yes! Anyway I let him have it over that. It's not too much to ask to go somewhere where they have something for everyone.

I am getting ready to grill some smoked sausage for dinner and also for my red beans and rice. Two meals at once. It's a good thing.

Vacation update

Well the car ride was not as traumatic as I thought it would be although I had a few touch and go moments. At one point I made hubby pull off quick cause I thought I was gonna hurl. I was stuck but as soon as I got up out the SUV I was fine. WHEW!
The snacks I took in the car were cheese cubes, PB pretzels and rice krispie treats. Yes I took rice krispie treats. They are my fave and never get stuck. I also had Vitamin Water Zero in the cooler. Life was good. We stopped at Wendys on the way there. I have not eaten at a Wendys in over a year. I got a chicken wrap. It had a chicken strip, cheese, lettuce and ranch dressing. It was yummy and only took me an hour to eat it. Needless to say we had a long leisurely lunch. I had to keep stopping and resting between bites. Didn't get stuck though. A few times I thought it would but it didn't. For dinner we stopped late and I had wings from Zaxbys. No problem. We stayed at a Holiday Inn Express Suites. They have a complimentary hot breakfast. So for breakfast I had scrambled eggs, bacon and apple juice. Our condo has a full kitchen so I went to the store and bought foods. Eggs for breakfast, pepperoni for wraps.

When we go the beach I pack a small tote cooler with Vitamin waters for me and cheese cubes. Of course drinks and snacks for my kids too. We come back to the condo for lunch which has been egg salad on toast for me. I haven't been able to eat toast at all since surgery until this weekend. I am making the pepperoni roll ups for lunch tomorrow. Dinner tonight we grilled out burgers. No bun for me! I had slaw as well. I had 3/4 of the burger and about 1/3 cup of the slaw.

Well I have been wearing a bathing suit and it wasn't as scarring as I thought it would be. I do have a lot of hanging skin on my arms. But it was okay. The funny thing about the beach is there is always someone there that looks worse in a bathing suit than you do, lots look better but someone always looks worse! Got a little burnt but hey it's the beach! Everyday we go the beach in the morning after breakfast then go back and eat lunch. Rest a bit then to the outdoor beachfront pool. Back for dinner then possible another pool. So far that's the plan. I want to throw in some shopping and the kids want mini golf. I have to say I am way more active than I was a year ago. Even though last year I was at Myrtle Beach too it was only 2 months post op and there wasn't much of a difference at that time other than I was able to stay at the beach longer than in years past.

I have to say one of the biggest differences I have noticed is getting up and down off the beach blanket. It was always so hard to hoist myself up off the ground and needed help getting up. I fell a few times too. Very embarrassing. That was the PAST! I get up and down fairly easy and, knock on wood, haven't fallen once. I am still self conscience and have gotten a little anxious a few times. Borderline panic attacks but I worked through them. I am still a work in progress and each day reminds me of that. I don't think I will ever be completely panic free but it is tons better now.

I went bike riding today with my little girl. We rode for about 30 minutes and man were my legs tired but it was a good tired. I guess I like my new bike. I may even start riding it around the neighborhood at home. I said I may.

Well, alls good for now.

What has gotten into me??

Ok after a weekend day of firsts, it continues. I bought a bike today. We are going on vacation to the beach and staying in a plantation resort. No golf carts allowed in the 53 acre resort. You either drive, hoof it or ride a bike. We are taking our bikes but I didn't have one so we bought one. I haven't ridden a bike in 10+ years. Oh this is not going to even be funny.
We got the bike at Walmart. I forgot to pick up my medicine so I go back in and while walking to the pharmacy I see a halter bathing suit top in black in my size. $10 so I bought it. What has gotten into me?? I tried it on when I got home and it fit just fine. So now I have two halter bathing suit tops( one black and one purple floral) and one black swim skirt.
I just can't believe I just bought it. Crazy!!
Today was all Mexican. I had 1egg/laughing cow for breakfast. Lunch was Qdoba 3 cheese nachos (black beans, chicken, cheese, sour cream,  lettuce) and dinner was taco salad from Senor Iguanas. That's it.
I did find some peanut butter filled pretzels at Kroger. They are in the aisle with the nuts. They had a big container of snack mix and also one with the filled pretzels. I bought one of each. Those peanut butter pretzels are darn tasty. I think I am going to get one for vacation road trip. 5g protein per serving.
Looking forward to vacation knowing I won't come back to work with tons of stuff hanging over my head like before. I will actually get to enjoy it.

Saturday, a day of firsts

Well, Saturday was a day for firsts for me. First and foremost, I wore shorts out in public. Yes out in public! I have not worn shorts, other than on vacation which is always in another state, therefore no one I know would see me. I went yard sale shopping all day and wore shorts! Shocking. We went to city-wide yard sales so it was a lot of walking, which I did.
I also bought...shorts for myself at that the yard sales. I can't believe it. I have NEVER bought any piece of clothing for myself at a yard sale. Let's face it, yard sales don't have "Big Girl" clothing. They now have my size or I now wear that size clothes. It was nice to buy a pair of shorts to kick around in at home for $1.
I did a lot of walking and as such my legs and  butt hurt massively bad all night. I soaked in a hot bath and that still did nothing for the pain. Which brings me to my next 1st.
I took a long hot bath. I normally only take showers. The reason? Because of my size, I couldn't fit in a standard tub. I always thought our master bath (I use the term loosely as it is very tiny) was a small tub but actually it is standard, I was the one that was over sized. I would get in the tub with only a few inches of water and once I sat down, the water nearly overflowed. Then I could never scooch down and soak because more than half of my body would still be above the water. No soaking there. I was more like wedged in there. Last night however, was different. I got in the tub that was nearly full and it did not overflow. I fit in it with room to spare on the sides and scooched down and completely soaked. It was nice for a change.
The next 1st was that I went shopping for a bathing suit. Yep, that was very hard to do. Full length mirrors, bathing suit, body exposed. Yep it was nerve racking. I did it, I got a bathing suit and I hate it. There wasn't much of a choice so I got what fit but I don't think it looks very good. Oh well, I got a size 18 where as last year this time I was wearing an extremely tight size 28. I had to squeeze in the one last year. I tried it on for kicks yesterday and well it fit like a roomy dress. It was falling off me. Now that showed me the difference a year has made for me.
So Saturday was a day for 1sts.

I still haven't lost any more weight and I am no more closer to deciding what to do about vacation than I was before. I have lost my food once in the past few days. That was only because right after eating I went to clean up the floor in my room and that involved a lot of bending over and well, I won't be bending over after a meal. Too much pressure on my stomach causes food to come back up. Lesson learned.

Here's something I have noticed over the past few months. With my new found self esteem, I have noticed that people notice me and actually make a point to talk to me. It's crazy how lately it has been more noticeable. Normally, I am a wall-flower. I prefer not to be part of a conversation but am happy just sitting in the background. Lately people are drawing me into the conversations whether I want to or not. It happens in grocery stores, restaurants, work, even repair men that come to the house. One guy from MSD came and randomly started talking about his vacation and how he would like to take it now but can't, blah blah blah. He likes Florida, where do I like to go for vacation and such. Really? What does any of that have to do with my drain out front that is washing out my yard?
The pizza delivery guy did the same thing basically. As soon as I answered the door, he started talking about a lawsuit over video game violence and how isn't that what parenting is to regulate what kids play and watch? He just kept babbling. I just wanted my pizza. Geez dude.

I guess with new found weight loss, new found self esteem, comes the responsibility. The responsibility that people will notice you. Wow! What a concept. Mix that with a jealous husband and it gets ugly fast.