Friday, February 17, 2012

Looking forward to Monday

I get my next fill Monday. I am hoping it is a good fill. I just want some restriction. I need to feel that stopper.
I have a confession. I have been eating off the cuff anything and everything I want. No thoughts about it. No stopping. Today I took a look at the nutritional content of this new restaurant that my hubby and I have been to 3 times in the past two weeks. It is a burger place called Smashburger. Now I have gotten milkshakes each time and I KNOW that was bad. No surprise there yet I was still floored.
Burger, smash fries(fries tossed in rosemary, olive oil and garlic) and a milkshake...more than 2200 calories! The milkshake alone was 810 calories. I could kick myself!!

Today I tried HARD to make more conscious choices. I took a snack with me. Pepperoni bites. Very simple and tasty. You take pepperoni slices and spread a little reduced fat garden vegetable cream cheese and top with another pepperoni slice. Each one is about 1g of protein. I had eggs for breakfast. Lunch was a chicken sandwich and side salad (lettuce was cut up real small). Dinner, I cooked a pork loin (pork loin, 1 cup sliced onions, sliced apples, Mrs Dash, pepper, garlic, ground mustard) in the crockpot for 10 hours and then shredded it and added bbq sauce. Paired it with some green beans.  I had Belvita for a little crunch and sweet snack. I did much better today than the past few days. I still have a long ways to go. With no restriction I never feel full.

So with that said, I am hoping for a good fill on Monday.

So I have been trying to remind myself what benefits I have had with the weight I have lost. Yeah I have gained some back but nothing compared to what I have lost.
I know that my health is much better. Diabetes under control. High blood pressure is too. My job is the biggest change. For the first time in 12 years I am doing something completely out of my element. For 11 1/2 years I did the same job day in and day out, medical claims examiner. 8 months ago I switched jobs to be a software tester. I do not have any formal training, no college degree. I would have not stepped out into a new area if it wasn't for the weight loss. My confidence is higher than even I see. I dove into this new job again with no training, it was basically here you go now test software. I got my 1st review yesterday and apparently I rock. HAHA. Seriously, my manager had nothing but great things to say about me. He gushed and gushed about me. We have a review system that first we review ourselves and then my manager is asked the same questions about me. The system compares our scores. We were only .3 apart. So what people see is exactly what they get. I strive to make sure I don't pretend to be something I am not. I straightforward and it definitely shows. Sometimes people think they are all that but project someone less competent. One of the questions was about being stressed in the workplace. My  manager said that he has never once seem me upset, stressed or frazzled. I told him that he never will. I explained that if people/clients see me frazzled and stressed then they won't have confidence in me that I can get the job done. Projecting confidence then following up and getting the job done earns respect and confidence in my abilities. He said I was absolutely right. I said that is why no one ever bothers me trying to see when or if I will get the job done unlike the others in my group who are bugged constantly. He said he has the utmost confidence in me and I am a valued member of the team. He looks to me for leadership and guidance and he feels I keep everyone grounded. I felt great after that. Of course he is British so it sounded even better with his accent.

I will post again after my fill...wish me luck!!

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